Mr. Rogers and the Power of Persuasion Video: https://www.mediate.com/mr-rogers-and-the-power-of-persuasion-video/
Even if you have taken one before, let’s see if you notice any changes.
5 Love Languages Quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
16 Personalities Test: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
HAVE FUN!
And which Dudley Key is your favorite? Can you settle on just 1?
My favorite for Mediator Statement is the one establishing ground rules, but I tend to be less warm and fuzzy.
“A few ground rules are important to help the process flow smoothly: One person at a time speaking, no interrupting, no name-calling, no making faces or emitting rude sounds of disgust or disbelief. Basic common courtesy will help a lot. Agreed?”
This is the phrase that encourages parties to start thinking outside the box of solutions.
“The solution you create together doesn’t have to be what a judge would order.”
I love the “We’re going to experiment, try things, adjust until a workable combination shows up” Dudley Key phrase. I think it simply explains “recalibration” as it relates to the human experience — there is no one-size-fits-all resolution for any situation!
That is a nice one. I think it helps open the door to creativity for the parties also.
“Although tangibles like the money settlement are important; intangibles such as pride, reputation and good will are very real and very important as you craft a resolution together.”
“When you get ready to make the first offer, keep your credibility.
If the first offer is outside the range of plausibility:
– It can appear foolish, greedy, arrogant or inexperienced
– It sends a message of disrespect at them
– Gives the other side no incentive to negotiate or take you seriously
– It can inspire anger and revenge that derails the whole thing.”
“These things usually involve some back and forth. You might expect them to start
low/high.”
“When you get ready to make the first offer, keep your credibility.
If the first offer is outside the range of plausibility:
– It can appear foolish, greedy, arrogant or inexperienced
– It sends a message of disrespect at them
– Gives the other side no incentive to negotiate or take you seriously
– It can inspire anger and revenge that derails the whole thing.”
“These things usually involve some back and forth. You might expect them to start
low/high.”
I like these two quotes, though I thought could ALL be useful in different situations. The first stood out to me because all parties are coming in with a different opinion. Listening and validating the parties’ different perspectives is invaluable because the “logical solution” looks different for each side so the recognition of each side’s humanity could take you a long way to gain compromise. The statement feels like a good reminder of the feelings both parties have in common.
The second quote seems like is addresses the idea of good faith in a very concrete way. Coming in with a high offer expecting a low counter and an ensuing back and forth is contradictory to presenting a solution in a good faith way. It is important to be open to different ideas and compromise but your proposed solutions should always be in earnest and with the goal of resolution. If you are proposing something that you know then other party would never agree to then you are not acting in good faith.
Where do you imagine using the first Dudley Key?
Re second quote, you bring great insight to how it relates to good faith.
It seems like bringing the first key in at the front end of the mediation….possibly in the opening statement. I really like that it brings up the black and white parts of the mediation but also is placing equal value on the feelings involved. Both parties are here after frustration and hurt feelings but both want a resolution. In that way they are together seeking a common goal.